The list ...........

I'm starting a little list.  Over the last year...no, last two years, I've been "coasting".  Not really certain of what I am doing, where I'm going, what I want to be.  Not to be confused with knowing who I am.  Of that I am certain.  This is more of an occupational pondering. A question of where from here?  Coasting.  I'm sick of it.  For so long I set my internal clock by Tenderloin Tuesday and Fried Chicken Friday as owner of the Wild Onion Cafe, in Trenton, Missouri.  After selling my cafe nearly two years ago, much of the time, I have to think about what day it actually is.  During the school year, it's a little easier, you know, the whole Monday thru Friday thing.  But honestly, I have floundered in the life of no longer my own. While self-employed as a part-time work-from-home florist/caterer, with a little- 6-month stint as babysitter, and a whole-hearted yet unsuccessful attempt at a "real job" of on-line customer service...I sucked, I have existed in a self-imposed, self examination of this particular drawn out and uneventful crossroads of my life.  The uneventful part in no way includes the best job in the world as Franny's Mom.  She is blooming, and it is beautiful to witness. 


I have this notion that people assume I spend my time knitting, making jewelry, refinishing furniture, refurbishing old houses, cooking, gardening etc.  Well, I do.  OK, I have been knitting the same Christmas scarf for my Dad for the last three years, maybe this year I'll finish....but I am trying. Lately, I find myself thinking of these things more than doing them. A few weeks back I started a little lunch delivery/catering business with my Dad.  Nearly 70 years old, My Dad, and starting a business...you have to admire that!  My nearly 70 year old Mother began piano lessons for the first time in her life, earlier this year.  When I am nearly 70, I'd like to be doing that kind of stuff, too. Which brings me to that list.  I figure I have twenty five years between now and Nearly 70, and I'd like to do a better job adding some excitement to my days. Last Friday, on my 45th birthday, I got to watch my 8th grade daughter play the Marimba with the high school marching band.  That was one of those all time, really great ways to spend a birthday.  Also, that very day I had a friend, who in wishing me happy birthday said, "this is going to be your best year yet".  Right!  I mean, why not?  My mother tells me that EVERY new year.  "Sister," she'll say, "....this is your Mother speaking....this is your year, I can feel it."  Honestly, I am basically easy to please...low maintenance, if you will.  A lovely view does me more good than a luxurious trip will do for others. So, I've been sitting  here waiting for the greatness to happen,  you know,  my best ever year.  This year, I think I'll latch on to that whole law of attraction vibe and see what happens.   I'm starting small, I mean I have a few years to cross off my little victories.  Of course, I'll be adding more along the way. 

1. Walk to the gravel road at the bottom of the hill, and out to the silo in the cornfield.
1a.  Walk halfway down the gravel road at the bottom of the hill, and try again tomorrow.
2.  Make a stacked rock wall near the patio.
3.  Tour the Squirrel Cage Jail in Gallatin. (This fall when the D-Strings play on the courthouse lawn). 
4.  Make a weekly trip of driving to all the little Amish stores and roadside stands near Jamesport; buy fresh produce, cheese, eggs, bread.
5.  Go back to the Mall of the Americas just to hear Franny speak Minnesotan, again.
6.  See my friend, Joanie, finally.
7.  Make the West Coast trip to see all my puppeteer friends. 
8.  Throw an all out pink baby shower for my beautiful, brilliant Godchild, she's pregnant with her first baby girl. 
9.  Take the train, not sure where...the train to somewhere, I guess.
10. Ride the Golden Eagle Ferry. 
11.  Hike to the river under the old bridge and step in.
12.  Host a Wild Onion Reunion, and be sure to invite Martha Kincaid, because she was there for most of the adventure. 
13.  Make some jewelry, buy some jewelry, wear some more jewelry.
14.  Create beautiful, flavorful food. 
15.  Pack, beautiful, inspiring lunches in my daughter's bento box. 
16.  Feel well enough to rise without hitting the snooze button at least three times. And on Saturdays, sleep as late as possible without setting an alarm.
17.  I would like to not be single.
18.  Stop at that old, arched, rock tunnel, that I think was a railroad bridge at one time, and walk through to the other side.  It's so pretty and I've always wanted to do that.   I need to remember to pack my boots.
19.  Visit the National Parks with my daughter in a rented RV. 
20.  Walk down the street and pass out $100 bills to those who really need it. 
21.  Take a painting class and paint a really big canvas with loads of  color and lots of detail, like Grandma Moses only modern.
22.  Own a night club, with Jazz singers, and little tables, and champagne, and buckets of steamed clams with buttery good sauce to dunk crusty bread. 
23.  Swim in an old rock quarry.
24.  Raise my daughter to be kind, open minded, free spirited, unconventional, confident and forgiving, and in the words of Rosalind Wiseman, a champion.  Teach her to follow her dreams, no matter what they are and while doing that I would like to remind myself of all those very same things, as often as possible.
25.  Be small town enough for that....
26.  Sleep on the trampoline under the stars, but above the critters.
27.  Bottle feed a calf, milk a cow. 
28.  Take an Italian holiday.
29.  Have an outdoor dinner party with a long table and festival lights strung in the trees with 6 courses, enjoyed over many hours with lots of wine and bottles of beer.
30.  Learn to square dance and wear one of those fluffy skirts and cowgirl boots.
31. Have Martha Stewart over for a Famous Baked Chop.  I think she might have me on her show if she tried one. Of course, I'd serve it with garlic mashed potatoes and fried apples picked fresh from Honeybramble Apple Farm. I would display a cute little centerpiece I thought up myself and Martha would have me back for the second segment of the show to share how it was made. 
32. Start a Soup Kitchen.
33.  Cut my hair really short.
34.  Own a Golden Retriever named Rose-Mary.
35.  Sew a very random, colorful, modern quilt.
36.  Host a radio talk show where I interview really ordinary people about the extraordinary things that have happened in their lives.  
37.   Expect less, give more.