The list ...........

I'm starting a little list.  Over the last year...no, last two years, I've been "coasting".  Not really certain of what I am doing, where I'm going, what I want to be.  Not to be confused with knowing who I am.  Of that I am certain.  This is more of an occupational pondering. A question of where from here?  Coasting.  I'm sick of it.  For so long I set my internal clock by Tenderloin Tuesday and Fried Chicken Friday as owner of the Wild Onion Cafe, in Trenton, Missouri.  After selling my cafe nearly two years ago, much of the time, I have to think about what day it actually is.  During the school year, it's a little easier, you know, the whole Monday thru Friday thing.  But honestly, I have floundered in the life of no longer my own. While self-employed as a part-time work-from-home florist/caterer, with a little- 6-month stint as babysitter, and a whole-hearted yet unsuccessful attempt at a "real job" of on-line customer service...I sucked, I have existed in a self-imposed, self examination of this particular drawn out and uneventful crossroads of my life.  The uneventful part in no way includes the best job in the world as Franny's Mom.  She is blooming, and it is beautiful to witness. 


I have this notion that people assume I spend my time knitting, making jewelry, refinishing furniture, refurbishing old houses, cooking, gardening etc.  Well, I do.  OK, I have been knitting the same Christmas scarf for my Dad for the last three years, maybe this year I'll finish....but I am trying. Lately, I find myself thinking of these things more than doing them. A few weeks back I started a little lunch delivery/catering business with my Dad.  Nearly 70 years old, My Dad, and starting a business...you have to admire that!  My nearly 70 year old Mother began piano lessons for the first time in her life, earlier this year.  When I am nearly 70, I'd like to be doing that kind of stuff, too. Which brings me to that list.  I figure I have twenty five years between now and Nearly 70, and I'd like to do a better job adding some excitement to my days. Last Friday, on my 45th birthday, I got to watch my 8th grade daughter play the Marimba with the high school marching band.  That was one of those all time, really great ways to spend a birthday.  Also, that very day I had a friend, who in wishing me happy birthday said, "this is going to be your best year yet".  Right!  I mean, why not?  My mother tells me that EVERY new year.  "Sister," she'll say, "....this is your Mother speaking....this is your year, I can feel it."  Honestly, I am basically easy to please...low maintenance, if you will.  A lovely view does me more good than a luxurious trip will do for others. So, I've been sitting  here waiting for the greatness to happen,  you know,  my best ever year.  This year, I think I'll latch on to that whole law of attraction vibe and see what happens.   I'm starting small, I mean I have a few years to cross off my little victories.  Of course, I'll be adding more along the way. 

1. Walk to the gravel road at the bottom of the hill, and out to the silo in the cornfield.
1a.  Walk halfway down the gravel road at the bottom of the hill, and try again tomorrow.
2.  Make a stacked rock wall near the patio.
3.  Tour the Squirrel Cage Jail in Gallatin. (This fall when the D-Strings play on the courthouse lawn). 
4.  Make a weekly trip of driving to all the little Amish stores and roadside stands near Jamesport; buy fresh produce, cheese, eggs, bread.
5.  Go back to the Mall of the Americas just to hear Franny speak Minnesotan, again.
6.  See my friend, Joanie, finally.
7.  Make the West Coast trip to see all my puppeteer friends. 
8.  Throw an all out pink baby shower for my beautiful, brilliant Godchild, she's pregnant with her first baby girl. 
9.  Take the train, not sure where...the train to somewhere, I guess.
10. Ride the Golden Eagle Ferry. 
11.  Hike to the river under the old bridge and step in.
12.  Host a Wild Onion Reunion, and be sure to invite Martha Kincaid, because she was there for most of the adventure. 
13.  Make some jewelry, buy some jewelry, wear some more jewelry.
14.  Create beautiful, flavorful food. 
15.  Pack, beautiful, inspiring lunches in my daughter's bento box. 
16.  Feel well enough to rise without hitting the snooze button at least three times. And on Saturdays, sleep as late as possible without setting an alarm.
17.  I would like to not be single.
18.  Stop at that old, arched, rock tunnel, that I think was a railroad bridge at one time, and walk through to the other side.  It's so pretty and I've always wanted to do that.   I need to remember to pack my boots.
19.  Visit the National Parks with my daughter in a rented RV. 
20.  Walk down the street and pass out $100 bills to those who really need it. 
21.  Take a painting class and paint a really big canvas with loads of  color and lots of detail, like Grandma Moses only modern.
22.  Own a night club, with Jazz singers, and little tables, and champagne, and buckets of steamed clams with buttery good sauce to dunk crusty bread. 
23.  Swim in an old rock quarry.
24.  Raise my daughter to be kind, open minded, free spirited, unconventional, confident and forgiving, and in the words of Rosalind Wiseman, a champion.  Teach her to follow her dreams, no matter what they are and while doing that I would like to remind myself of all those very same things, as often as possible.
25.  Be small town enough for that....
26.  Sleep on the trampoline under the stars, but above the critters.
27.  Bottle feed a calf, milk a cow. 
28.  Take an Italian holiday.
29.  Have an outdoor dinner party with a long table and festival lights strung in the trees with 6 courses, enjoyed over many hours with lots of wine and bottles of beer.
30.  Learn to square dance and wear one of those fluffy skirts and cowgirl boots.
31. Have Martha Stewart over for a Famous Baked Chop.  I think she might have me on her show if she tried one. Of course, I'd serve it with garlic mashed potatoes and fried apples picked fresh from Honeybramble Apple Farm. I would display a cute little centerpiece I thought up myself and Martha would have me back for the second segment of the show to share how it was made. 
32. Start a Soup Kitchen.
33.  Cut my hair really short.
34.  Own a Golden Retriever named Rose-Mary.
35.  Sew a very random, colorful, modern quilt.
36.  Host a radio talk show where I interview really ordinary people about the extraordinary things that have happened in their lives.  
37.   Expect less, give more.
   

I've been creatively self employed my entire adult life.  First, as a dancer/choreographer (a collision with a tow truck ended that dream). Next, I gathered, dried, and arranged flowers for re-sale,in addition to owning a little shoppe filled with my creations, displayed among odd vintage finds.  This all took place before becoming a MOM, which is my favorite job. When my daughter was a toddler I decided to open a small town cafe.  The first day I worked in a restaurant was the day I opened one. Talk about learning on the job!  Over the following ten years, while frying up tenderloins( a north Missouri favorite), baking my famous Iowa chops, and making endless pans of bread pudding with caramel sauce I somehow found time to renovate two old houses.  One of which is our home, Green Acre.  It once housed a flower shop and greenhouse and I purchased it on the spot (but that's another story).  These last two years, after selling the cafe, I opened a tiny flower shop. You might say I went a little nutty from confinement. But it was during that time that I discovered, deep down, what I've always known...  I am my own woman, and I MUST create. Everyday.  Which brings me to this, I'm a work-at-home mom with many talents that I'd like to share. And, that's just what I intend to do.  I'm going to create my heart out! 

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changin!

So, the news…..Wild Onion Flowers is closing. But, not entirely…..What you didn’t probably know is that my home used to house a flower shop business and greenhouse, and the flower shop is still there, built in cooler and all. What I’ve learned these last couple years, is that my real love is weddings. Along with the bride, I love creating, start to finish, very unique and memorable events.
Though the 9^th street shop is closing, I will have a Christmas Open House at my home Saturday, November 13. If you missed my at-home fall open house, be sure not to miss out on this one! For sale will be many beautiful holiday arrangements, wreaths, swags, ornaments and some out of the ordinary holiday décor and goodies. Plus, the bargain basement of clearance items from Wild Onion Flowers! And of course, plan to take a tour of my new again wedding/workshop studio. There will be a sign-up for Fresh Thanksgiving and Christmas Centerpiece Workshops, as well.

Flower services will still be available, only by phone or appointment, as this is my home, not a retail location. You can phone me at 660-635-0961.

As always...thank you to all my wonderful customers!  I am very excited at the idea of working from home.  The timing just couldn't be better. 
All the best, Pam.

Alive and Well

After having spent the last 10 years catering to every decadent holiday desire of thousands of office Christmas party-goers, this year I am savoring every extra minute I have to spend with my now 12 year old daughter.   No more late nights whipping up our famous baked chops, festive cherry cheesecakes, packing to-go-boxes of every last morsel, watching the minutes slowly pass on the cafe kitchen clock while waiting to get home to my girl.  (Inevitably, what followed was collapsing into a chair next to my overlooked Christmas tree, while my daughter was already fast asleep.)  Following a brief but whirlwind love affair earlier this year with an old high school acquaintance, I was re-introduced to my love of country music.  Yes, I know, I know....country?!  You?! Yes, I love it!  Well, on my daily three minute commute to work this morning, I cranked up Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews singing  their popular duet.  As I listened I was reminded for what seems like the millionth time since selling my cafe last September, how Alive and Well I truly am.  This particular holiday season has it become glaringly apparent.  

Yesterday, my mother introduced our favorite place in the world to eat to two of her Trenton friends.  They were embarking on a true "day lady" day.  Symphony in the morning, lunch at Andre's, shopping in Brookside, and an afternoon meeting for lovers of the Arts.  (Aside from Johnny Cash, my mother still doesn't know what to make of my reclaimed love of country music.) Anyway, this morning she brought me the most wonderful box of mouthwatering swiss pastries from our favorite place in the world to eat! She told me last night she was bringing it, and my mouth watered like before my little doggie Sally's does before I give her a treat.  Years ago, on a "day lady" day of my own I introduced a friend of mine to the very same eatery.  Recently, we talked with glazed over eyes and enthusiasm about going together, once again.  I can hardly wait to surprise her with a Chocolate Matterhorn at her courthouse office after finishing this paragraph!  This year, instead of just being thankful ...I intend to share my thankfulness with gusto!  I'm going to say yes, reach out, share and show my gratitude outwardly...some little something, every single day.  Seriously, there ain't no Matterhorn high enough!

Catching Snowflakes

Cooler broke down today. Frozen water in the flower bucket is never a good sign. Thermostat is shot, so says the electrical fix-it man. It will be up and running in a couple days. So, I took all the flowers out of the cooler, saved the one's I could and chucked the rest. I don't really mind. Instead of the cooler, I turned down the temp in the building, put on a sweater, and surrounded myself with flowers in my work room. Of course, had this happened last week during the Valentine's mania, I would have had a nervous breakdown! I have busied myself with putting the shop back in order. Doing a little spring cleaning. Finally, I let go of the thought that I actually needed a kitchen here at the shop, and turned the kitchen into a second work-space. All very mundane little tasks that I welcome, gladly. Days like these I LOVE. I spent so many years hurrying as fast as I could at the cafe...taking time to do silly little stuff is crazy wonderful. Like standing in the snow catching snowflakes on my tongue. What I'm really looking forward to is spring.....then I'm going to stop and smell the roses.

Simple Truths

I love this.  Sometimes the thing about happiness is simply making the decision to change.  I choose happy!

You don't have much to say...

So here I am, two months to the day since opening my little flower shop, and on the heels of the re-opening of the little cafe I ran for nearly ten years, and recently sold.  I received a call today from a long time, former cafe customer who also happens to work for the local radio station that handles my advertising.  She is also, incidentally, a lover of food an very nice person.  For years, updating the cafe website was part of my weekly regimen, along with a never ending list of other tasks.  I've been rejoicing in the freedoms of no longer having those chores related to the cafe, that I didn't realize anyone else might notice.  In addition to updating the specials, monthly coupons and upcoming events, I also wrote a little now and again blurb on the News Page of the website.( http://www.thewildonioncafe.com/)   My friend on the phone told me of her recent trip to the "new" cafe.  After a brief run down of her lunch experience, (ok, it was actually in great detail and I waited for every word of the report) she says "Uh, I checked your web-site.  Lately, (pause) you don't have much to say."  Wow!  You mean someone was actually looking?  Just last week I started to sign up for the free trial of typepad.....Na!  I thought to myself, maybe not.  Well!  How quickly things change when you come into the knowledge you have an audience of one!  Maybe more!  Maybe, I am meant to write.  Maybe, my thoughts really are something to share.  Maybe, in my down time at the flower shop I will finally write that book. Go figure.